keeping on keeping on

We've been talking about drinking out of toxic plastic on our listserve and getting bummed out about all the years we've been doing it. It is hard sometimes to do this work, to face what is happening and change it. I especially don't like looking at the ways I contribute to the problem. I hate the fact that my little girls have been drinking out of toxic sippy cups for years and that my breast milk probably did a number on them too. And the plastic thing is just one little tiny facet of this incredibly complex and integrated crisis we find ourselves in. It's scary because we don't know what's going to happen with any of it. And sad because I love my family and want a bright and happy future for them.

So what do we do? How do we move forward? I was talking about this whole situation with a friend of mine who has been a therapist for many years. He said two things that really stuck with me: First, that we need to stay in balance ourselves as we work to return our lives and the world to balance. It's so easy for me to abandon things like sleep, regular meals, exercise, time with my family and friends and plain old fun. But I think my friend is right. We've got to pace ourselves, which is never my strong suit. His other idea is to think of this work as continual transition. We don't have to have it all down, and probably never will. We just need to keep learning, responding and changing, making healthier and more informed choices each time. The sum total of all our small changes will lead to good things.

Some days (often multiple times a day), I don't want to do this green thing anymore. I want to go back to where I was a month ago, blissfully buying plastic toys at 5 in the morning on Black Friday and feeling all cozy in my 72 degree house. But two things keep me moving forward. I keep mentally bouncing against the idea that the reality of global warming isn't going away whether it makes me happy or not. And the thought that always follows is that I need to face it for my kids. The depth of my learning to live green is fueled by my love for my kids. They're (to use my favorite phrase I learned in high school) inextricably intertwined.

I want this future for my kids and I believe it's possible. We can change direction. It's just hard sometimes.

Energy

Last week, I attacked the plastic in the kitchen. I threw everything I could get my hands on into recycling, including my husband's favorite pasta grabbing claw. Sean fished it out and brought this offense up five times in a single day. Didn't go over very well. He's still talking about it. So, I am just starting to learn about how to make these (sometimes radical) changes in a life that I share with other people. We decided I can't go flying off the handle until I give him warning first. I need to do the research and send it his way, give him time to digest it and then make our plan of action together. Since he's the voice of reason around here, I guess that's probably a good idea. Slows me down a bit, which is probably a good thing. Since every relationship is so different, I would be interested to hear how you navigate green decisions and make big changes with the people in your lives.

This week, I'm taking on our energy consumption. Lightbulbs, covering the water heater, windows, stuff like that. My friend Adrian has been conscious of energy issues for a long time and had some great suggestions for me:

The first thing to do is cut your household emissions. I checked out some of the links on your site, and the important stuff is covered well: lower water heater temp and house thermostat, insulate, turn off lights, computers, stereos at the plug, etc. It is not hard to make improvements over the national (regional) averages. The Energy Information Administration has awesome statistics. You can compare your monthly gas and electric bill to national/regional figures to get a sense of how well you're doing relative to your neighbors. Kara and I, for example, use about 40% of the per capita electricity and 50% of the per capita natural gas, and our house has old windows and thin walls. (We did blow in a bunch of recycled newsprint attic insulation.) And we use electricity, dishwasher, clothes washer, etc. I think people just tend to leave things on without thinking.

I know we do. So that's my project for the week. For those of you who have been doing this for a long time, I'd love to hear how you do it at your home. For those of us who are new to it, I'll post all the information I find here. Sean, here's my research. Get ready, mister.

> How to Green Your Electricity (Treehugger)